a cup of kindness, please

I admit that for the last two years or so, I have a difficult time listening to the news in the morning. I used to be a dedicated NPR fan. I listened to know and to grow. I did so, until it all became too much.

Then I tuned out.

I had to. I couldn’t do it. I would listen in the morning and be upset all day and not be able to sleep at night. Yes, I know, I have been told repeatedly. “You are too sensitive.” I suppose that is true. I always have been, as hard as I have tried to “toughen up” I probably always will be.

But is that so bad?

The thing about being sensitive is that even though it can be so painful at times, it is also a tool to succeed at life with. When you are in a room full of people laughing and you can see the one person who is putting on a good show but is full of pain and in need sensitive becomes a gift, instead of undesirable.

I suppose on some level I have not always appreciated this gift. Being criticized for my sensitivity has made it seem like it is a curse rather than a blessing. Fortunately, as we age, hopefully, wisdom comes too. It is easier to see that the glass is half full instead of half empty. Being able to see through the facade to what really is going on with the aforementioned life of the party has been a gift. An opportunity for me to be able to see past and reach out to someone in need.

Going back to my NPR ban. I am frustrated at times that I am both so opinionated and so powerless. I don’t understand much about the world, politics, war. It seems to me that if we put love first, we can live happily and co-exist together ever so wonderfully. I know, it is a naive thought. However, if you think about it, this is not so horrible an idea.

May I ask you a question? When was the last time someone did something kind for you? It could have been the simplest thing. Letting you cut in in a heavy line of traffic, paying for your coffee, sending you a card for no reason at all, bringing you flowers, delivering dinner- whatever the gift was, how did that make you feel? Hold that feeling for a moment. The gesture was simple, but the rewards (for both of you most likely) were great.

It almost doesn’t matter if it had a huge impact or a sort one. The point I am trying to make is that it likely DID make a difference to you. That is very important to this message.

I am hoping your instinct is such that you would like to take that feeling and spread it around a bit. My theory is that when we are busy being kind to each other and even include strangers in that, we have a more difficult time judging or something even more negative. Look at this as little seeds of peace that you are spreading around like confetti!

So what do you do? It’s easy- be thoughtful, be kind. No, you actually do not have to buy coffee for your office mate daily (though once in a while is nice- I had co-workers that brought me one every single Friday. It was just lovely! Thank you, Susan & Anna!). Try this- Let someone out in front of you in traffic, leave a post it note for someone having a rough day at the office, pick your spouse a flower, play a game ON THE FLOOR with a child, (meet them at their level), check with a neighbor to see if they need anything from the store… simple things. Easy things. Smile at a stranger, share the cookies you baked (or bought), celebrate nothing, visit someone, send a card to someone you haven’t spoken with in a length of time.

JUST DO SOMETHING- a little thing… daily – if we each do this, I BELIEVE we will change the world.

Sending YOU love. Will you join me on my crusade?

Susan

a heart in the middle that has been painted with layers. the words One act of kindness a day can change 365 lives, #the thoughtfulness project
small acts of kindness, big gestures of love

Active prayer

Active Prayer – mixed media on player piano paper © Susan Carmen-Duffy 2019

There are many ways of expressing your heart. Some do it with words, some actions, some music. We each seem to carry worries and concerns with us. We also carry things we are grateful for, and things that inspire. For me, art is a very strong link to my emotions and spirituality. When I create art I bring the best of me to the surface. I feel spiritually balanced. Art heals my aching heart and celebrates my dearest joys.

Over twenty years ago. I discovered the art of Mandala. It was completely an accident. I was creating them without even knowing what I was actually doing. The irony lies in the fact that for me it was instinctual. It was something completely natural and had no basis in my usual exploration. Often I research a new idea nearly to death before attempting it. With this, I had the opportunity to draw beautiful circles using my husband’s drafting tools. I wasn’t really trying to accomplish much of anything. It was more that I had an opportunity. It was an exploration. For me it was a miracle. My exploration turned into an incredible experience. I felt directed and understood, I could breathe deeper. It felt like a miracle. I felt whole as I created. I felt connected. I felt empowered.

For me, the creation of Mandalas did not come from a book or research. It came from my heart. The first time I showed this work publically a friend I had made a few years prior asked how long I had been creating mandalas. She smiled at the recognition that I had no clue what she was speaking about. While I am embarrassed to admit I was completely unaware of this type of meditative prayer, I also see that for me there was a purity in my ignorance. I created a mandala because it felt right to do so. I only discovered the depth of this art when my friend advised me to go get the book, “Creating Mandala” (by Suzanne Fincher). I did so. It was the key to unlocking this art for me. It was an incredible gift.

It all fell into place for me. It was words to a prayer when I lacked the right words, it was a connection when I felt disconnected, it was honor, it was joy, it was love.

When my mother was still alive, she brought me to a gathering of monks creating a mandala out of sand. We sat quietly as they chanted and meditated. I sat breathless as they picked up their tools and began laying down tiny bits of sand to create these incredible large mandalas. My heart broke knowing that they would toss their work into the river, as it was a prayer not permanent.

Eventually. I understood. The power of mandala, the intent, the gift, is priceless to me.

“Meditation” Mixed media mandala on player piano paper
copyright Susan Carmen-Duffy 2019

I feel that meditation is key to calming our very busy lives. I tend to meditate actively, through drawing, mandalas, art in general. Since I have concentrated on doing so, I feel better, I rest more completely and my focus also seems to be a bit better. It is with this spirit that I offer workshops. I believe my expertise is really my open heart, not the hours I have spent reading and discovering this incredible art. Experience and education are important, but more so, I believe an open heart.

In a world that feels so turbulent, this feels vital for me. I have created mandalas as art, and I have created mandalas in sand. I find both exciting, both incredible. Both completely worthy of my efforts and passions. I encourage you to explore what makes your heart peaceful, what sustains you. For me, the creation of a mandala is an active prayer, a song without words, especially when I have one.

I wish you peace, I wish you joy, I wish you love,

Susan